Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Identity Crisis

Maybe you saw it coming.  I sort of saw it coming, but I did what I am best at -- I swept it under the rug.  I ignored what I knew was going to happen.

I'm having a major identity crisis.

It's been seven months since we left the LEO life and moved into a completely new and foreign land -- literally and figuratively.  I'm still at a loss for what to do, and most shockingly, who I am.

It really struck me this morning, as I was trying to 'introduce' myself in the online world.  The first things to say were "LEO wife, mom of four..." and then I stopped short.  What?  I'm not a LEO wife anymore, and while I may be a mom of four since when do I only define myself by other people?  Everyone jokes about that -- once you are a mom you completely lose your "own" identity.  But why?  Why is that funny?  IT'S NOT FUNNY.

When I think of who we are as a family, I think "LEO family on sabbatical."  But my husband is pretty darn sure he's not going back into law enforcement.  So where does that leave me?  A dear LEO wife friend was lamenting some LEO-family-specific issues and she felt so bad.  "Can you even relate to me any more? Do you want to change the subject?" Wow. Shockingly, I still define myself by that LEO family title.  And Wife.  And....

Really.  Who Am I?