I know it's a brotherhood. I know I should be grateful that anybody covers my husband's butt on any kind of call so that said butt can come home every night from work. (Although there are a few out that who would actually make the call worse... but I digress.)
In the midst of all this "brotherhood" there are politics. I guess it shouldn't be a surprise that there is bickering. I have three kids. In fact, I spent a bunch of time today mediating all that "bologna" with said three kids. So I know how it is.
But adults? ADULTS? Seriously!?!? My husband does the best job he can, every day he goes to work. He's been injured ON THE JOB and kept working while getting treatment. He busts his butt to actually -- get this!?!? -- do his job the right way.
To be fair, I love my husband dearly, but he does have his faults, too. I especially can't stand how black-and-white everything is for him. It is absolutely right or absolutely wrong. Yet, he can also be the most forgiving cop there is, taking the stance that showing someone mercy may have a much bigger impact in changing their behavior than a measly citation. He's a conundrum, that one.
So when I know all this about him, about how he works so diligently and hurts so much.... when a superior starts spreading rumors about him, you'll see why I'm a little peeved.
In the real world, my husband would calmly, and politely, call them on the carpet. He would nicely say "I hear you told your whole team I'm a lazy tard. Can you clarify for me the problem you see with my work, so that I can improve?" But of course, dear sweet husband can't do that. Because then the "rat" (who told my husband about the rumor-mill-maker) will be outed and my husband cherishes his brotherhood. He is so grateful for the "rat" who told him he's being falsely accused of x-y-z *behind his back* and now he knows he must watch out for said back.
I'm just livid.
How do you handle department politics? Because I'm sure not doing a great job of handling them right now.
4 minutes ago
10 comments:
Handle them? By remembering that often-times the "rat" is stirring the pot for themselves. Nobody "passes on information" as part of the brotherhood. Otherwise, they'd be willing to be outed.
I agree with Meadow!
I agree with Meadowlark too!
BTW, any good supervisor goes directly to the officer and addresses the problem. If I was your hubby, I would go directly to my boss and ask him about the rumor without saying who told him. How will the boss know for sure who he heard it from? Besides what kind of friend passes on that kind of stuff! I know I don't.
Half the time the messenger is part of the problem. If they are passing information onto you then most likely they will run with anything you say (and distort the message).
In my 12 years I've learned cops can be the biggest gossip bodies around.
Our department is ridiculous when it comes to politics. RIDICULOUS. I don't have any advice, because I still haven't figured out how to not let it get under my skin, but you're definitely not alone!
@Cop Mama ~ Let me just say that "any good supervisor" does not apply in this situation. This person is notoriously horrific and, well.... not "good". He's petty and childish and snake-y.
As for those who said the messenger is part of the problem/stirring the pot, etc... I don't know that I agree. I hadn't thought about it that way, so thanks for giving me a different perspective. However, I'm skeptical in this situation. I think there are a lot of people who are loyal enough to say "There's trouble brewing for you because of what so-and-so said" but they aren't brave enough to take the consequences from "so-and-so" when (for ex in this situation) my husband confronts the rumor-mill-maker. If that makes sense.
Ugg!! I don't believe anything about me till it comes to my face and they all know I will go straight to the person I'm told said it to nicely clear the air before it gets out of hand. Even so far as pulling in coworkers in to the supers office to talk nicely to get everyone's side!!
Ironically rumors about me are far and few between because people have learned I don't fall for their antics! I'm sorry he's going trough that! Makes it hard to face life situations on the street with these people.
-Dispatcher
Ahh, police politics. :P It's sad how many officers climb up the ladder and then forget the level they started on. If your dh's co-workers, who see him every day and count on him to back them up, know what he is really like, then they know to ignore "the lazy tard" and his bad attitude.
Tough position. You will quickly learn that if you don't have a cheerleader from the start that you won't get very far.
What you can count on is those behind the scenes friends. Can't count on many other things.
The truth is almost always somewhere about right in the middle. 99% of the time, silence is safer than speech. The rat will out himself and your hubby will be vindicated by karma alone.
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