I'm feeling a few of those "things" that I automatically assume irritate me as a wife of a lawman today. Maybe it's a universal "I'm married" problem, but it sure doesn't feel like it. I think it's also exacerbated by this giant basketball I'm carrying around under my shirt. (I don't think I've mentioned it, but I am 36 weeks pregnant with our third child. ) Poor husband. And poor you, if you're reading this, because it's going to be a big long complaining downer. Click over to one of those other blogs on the sidebar if you're not up for this today!
Today was our niece's 1st birthday party. I use the term "niece" loosely because actually it's my husband's cousin's daughter, and in fact, the mom of the birthday girl is not even his real cousin... her mom and my husband's mom are the true cousins. Somehow everyone in that family gets either the term "cousin" or "niece" depending on their age, no matter what their true relation. Anyway, I digress. Today was her first birthday party, a big shebang at a fancy restaurant and probably about 40 or 50 people. But hubs got invited to hitch along to a local shooting range for free this morning, and considering "free" is better than "rip off" (which is what it normally costs to go to non-departmental sponsored range time), he went. Hubs does very few things just for himself and for his enjoyment, so I was all for it. I figured he could come a half hour late to the party and no one would even notice, plus he'd get in his man-cave-shooting time, and everyone would be all happy.
Except for me.
I forgot about that part. First there was the getting ready part. It was a bit of a "fancy" event so I actually showered this morning, curled my hair and put on make up. I fed and dressed everyone. I packed a lunch for my daughter (she has food allergies and I didn't know if she'd be able to eat at the restaurant since we'd never been there before). I ran errands. I got to the party on time.
All by myself.
I knew this was the way it was going to be in advance, and as the spouses of individuals in law enforcement this is what we become accustomed to ~ doing it all, by ourselves, while our friends and family look on with varying levels of pity, disdain, and complete cluelessness. While I was going through the motions I was actually really proud of myself. I left plenty of time for everything to get done. I didn't get mad and yell at the kids because we were running late. I wrote a list in the morning so I could remember everything, and I actually remembered everything. Yay me.
But then there was the 40 minute drive home from the party where I stewed about the day's events.
It didn't help that hubs ended up being 1.5 hours late to the party instead of just half an hour late. (In all fairness he would have only been 1 hour late had he not gotten lost due to a closed off ramp.) That kind of irked me. As I was driving home, I realized that I wanted some recognition. For being 36 weeks pregnant I had on a cute outfit, with cute shoes and makeup and cute hair instead of some frumpy nastiness which is what I've mostly been wearing lately. I planned the gift for MY HUSBAND'S niece (this is when I get to call her just *his*, not *ours* ha ha). I brought the gift. I got the card. I dressed the kids. I got them there. I made small talk with all the in-laws and out-laws. I did it all by myself and all I wanted was for hubs to say something, like "You looked cute today." I'm all about honesty, but at this point I'm ready to say shove it and can you please lie to me and tell me I look cute even if you think I don't?? Or "thank you"?
Then we got home.
A few days ago I mentioned that there was some sweeping that needed to be done outside. This is part of my job that I get paid to do. With the big basketball on my belly, it's too difficult for me to sweep and supervise both the 2- and 4-year olds, so I asked the hubs to watch the kids so I could do this. Of course I did NOT ask this during his work week, I'm not that dumb. Instead he said he would do the sweeping! Score! So, guess what, it's two days later, I know this MUST be done, and he hasn't done it... but he's going back to work tonight and we all know that means that there will be nothing but sleeping, complaining, and working being done for the next four days. In some ways I think hubs really made a mistake in marrying me because I am not the naggy wife type that asks and asks and asks. (His mom is the naggy type, but I'm thinking he's an adult now so he should get over that "be reminded to death" thing.) You said you'd do it, and you didn't. Thanks. So during nap time the 4-year-old and I went out and did the sweeping. Not fun but not totally horrible. He's old enough to actually be helpful now. And the best part? On the way back to the house he said "I love hanging out with you."
That was all worth it, and my husband missed out on it because I did the job instead.
Then I remember he is a good guy and he hands his paycheck over to me without any squabbling whatsoever, every month. Thanks, honey.
