One thought

Today I had a mild panic attack when I realized I didn't know if my mom had thrown away a special set of my dad's shirts.

I mentioned my dad in my last post, so maybe he's just been on my mind lately.  Actually, I know he has been.  Yesterday I got really angry when I thought about him missing my life.  Wha.....??!  I mean, that feels so out of left field I can't even say the entire word "what."  I'm not angry at him, it's not like it was his fault.  I'm not angry at God, either.  Just.... angry.  Then sad.  Then confused about why it matters at this point.  When would it be "ok" for your parent to die?  If you are 45 years old and your dad was 65 or 70, is that "ok"?  Is that "fair"?  No anger required?  Or...?  I'm really at a loss.  I can't imagine anyone ever dying and my being OK with it.  This is a mind game at this point but it's an interesting idea. 

My mom took a while but after he died, but she did get rid of my dad's clothes in a pretty healthy and timely manner.  She saved a laundry basket full of shirts that were so "him."  It was always business casual for him, more or less.  He had plenty of suits (which he did wear more than "occasionally"), but there are plenty of shirts that I would take one look at and they would scream DAD to me.  You know the ones.  My husband has a bunch of shirts like that.  Whether they like it or not, the men in my life have a signature style.  No, I didn't say they are stylish, just have a signature style.  :)

So I realized I need some of those shirts.  I need to do something with them.  I called up my mom and she really didn't have time to talk, but I asked if she still had the shirts and she said "Yup, they are in my husband's closet."  (Talk about weird, but hey! It works for him and I'm grateful.)  One of the best things was that my mom made my garter-to-keep for my wedding out of material from one of those shirts.  I'm really glad I have that.  It made me cry when I opened it at my bridal shower and I think everyone there was a bit surprised by such a strong reaction to a garter.  There's always a story, though, isn't there?

Anyhow.... that's that.  Pondering lots of things these days.  What's going on in your neck of the woods?