Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Cliff Talk

Today Motorcop posted about two motors officers out in his neck of the woods who were in two different crashes; one in Concord and one in Fremont.  If you are the praying kind, please say some prayers for each of them and their families.

As I read about Officer Brower in Fremont, I was angry.  What idiot decides to run down a cop who isn't even.... well, don't get me started.  That's just rhetorical.  We all know what kind of idiot does that.  So, as usual, I started projecting.

I started thinking about this man and his family.  His wife.  His three sons.  What it would be like to come back from an injury like that.  I'm not just talking about the physical recovery.  I'm also wondering what kind of emotional recovery goes along with it. 

My husband has always been a 'tough guy.'  Not a 'tough guy' in a pig-headed way, but a 'tough guy' in the very best sense of the word.  The kind of guy who would follow you home to make sure you got in safely, just because it is the right thing to do.  He's a little quick to judge other guys who are -- let's say it -- pansies.  The ones who leave the women and children to burn and race off to save themselves.  (That is definitely pansy.)  Anyway, I worry about my man.  All of our officers.  They are trained to be tough, and hard, and invincible.  They aren't (as we all know) but if they think they are ~ that's half the battle to winning with a sketchy suspect. 

So what happens when that invincibility is put to the test, and our officer comes out on the bottom?  Would my husband return to his previously invincible-feeling self?  Or would he not be quite as invincible feeling?  Would he question his ability to do his job?  And would he hate himself for it?

Then I realized, I am just borrowing trouble.  I had to talk myself 'back from the cliff' as I like to say.  I have to put away all the crazy talk and get outside of myself to speak rationally to myself.  This time, I came at it from the slant of worrying.  How many hundreds of sayings are there about worrying?  All of them saying something to the effect that we should not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.   Each day has enough trouble for itself.  When (I'd sure prefer to say IF!) my husband experiences some difficulty in his job which changes his outlook or injures him, that will be a different bridge to cross.  And we'll be able to cross it without much worry, for it will be a day of it's own, with it's own worry.

What's your favorite "don't borrow trouble" saying?


Commchick said...

My guy is an LEO and a soldier, so I know exactly what you are talking about. I always remind myself that worrying doesn't change anything. My guy knows his job, he's good at it, so I try to remember that. Worrying isn't good for a person's health either, so I try to tell myself that when I get the urge to worry.

Handcuffed Heart said...

Yes.... I'm good at the worrying part. I don't care so much about my health. :( Thanks for the comments!