Wednesday, February 16, 2011

To Ring or Not To Ring?

I remember those first few days of my new, sparkly diamond engagement ring shimmering on my finger.  It was an outward symbol of the inner feelings I had; I loved someone, and someone loved me, and I had great hope and excitement about our future.  In reality, I didn't need that ring to accompany that burning question (the one that came right after the comment about the "nerdy girl" he met so many years ago) but it was a special symbol that I still treasure.

Then, there was the question of a wedding band.  Did I really need one?  I had a sparkly thing on my finger already.  Why did I need TWO rings instead of one?  [For the record, I did end up with one ~ a plain band studded with my beloved's birthstone. Love!!]

It may be just a "girl thang" but I definitely feel different when I have that ring on.  Even if it's just the plain band, I love glimpsing that ring on my finger and thinking about all the conversations that got us there; the huge fight we got into (and he still gave me my wedding band); the day he proposed and what a shock it was... all of these things are wrapped up in this little piece of jewelry.

So when I don't wear it, I feel "less" married.  I don't know how you can feel "less" in that way but I sure do.  Now, back in the day I bought my husband a wedding band, which he wore for a while.  But he stopped wearing it somewhere along the road.  I even bought him a "cheap" replacement because he said he wanted something different/different size/other wife (ha ha just kidding).  But he still doesn't wear it.  I guess there are lots of reasons; it's more comfy without it, it doesn't get banged up, and it leaves some mystery as to whether my man has a wife and kids at home.  Good for the thugs trying to "come after us" in retaliation, bad for the 20-year-old badge bunnies that always seem to be creeping around.

So, I'm curious.... you first responder types out there.... do you wear a ring on shift?  Does your S.O. wear one on shift?  Why or why not?

Image courtesy of Fensterbme on Flickr

In the interest of full disclosure, I was not wearing any jewelry at the time of this post!


Deputy's Wife said...

My hubby does, even though we got in a HUGE fight before we got married and before he was moved to patrol over it. He swore he wouldn't wear it on duty because his sgt told him he got drug down the street by it one day so it was a safety issue. I told him if he didn't wear his then I didn't have to wear mine. Now it only comes off when he's in the shower!

Christy said...

My dh wears his ring but right before he was deployed 2 years ago, he got a wedding ring tattoo on his finger. He wanted to make a bold statement to me and didn't want to risk getting robbed. It's our wedding date in Roman numerals. It's the one tattoo he has that I love. :)

Meadowlark said...

long story alert -

Husband hasn't worn a ring since he jumped off the helicopter and almost lost a finger. I haven't worn a ring since I got fat (gee...15 years ago, perhaps I WON'T lose the weight!).

He started wearing one his first few months as a LEO then came home one night telling the story of a guy in the back of the car saying "Oh... you're married! She must live around here. Good to know." (very small town for first dept). Hasn't worn one since.

We've been married 25 years and I think this year we might get wedding rings... our daughter mentioned it and said "you guys know you're married, but do you know that other people might not know that." We were totally blown away and realized that we were in a different place and time and it might again be the time for wedding rings. He's a detective now in a much larger community - they'll NEVER find me here ;)

Sorry for rambling. Short answer is: don't wear one. We think we'll start. :)


pretty ring.

right now, neither one of us wear it. he doesn't like to for safety reasons on duty and my fingers got too puffy after the fits now...but now i'm not used to wearing it anymore

MrsRobbieD said...

Would/Could he wear a ring that doesnt resemble a band? BUT you two would know what it's for & he could tell WHO he chose that it is his wedding ring?

Pam Landy said...

When I was out with JB and his work buddy for lunch a few weeks ago, I asked his buddy - who is married - why he doesn't wear a ring. #1: He used to work in corrections, and says the less the prisoners knew about you the better, #2: it can catch on things, #3: he lost his original wedding band in the ocean on his honeymoon in Mexico(!), and #4: he does have a wedding band, purchased from a Mexican bodega that same trip. It's made of coconut shell and is attached to his keychain.

I'd still like my future husband to wear his wedding band, because, doy.

mrs. fuzz said...

My Sister from another mister!

I was just wondering the same thing about other LEOS. HF does not wear his ring pretty for reasons #1 and #2 that Pam Landy mentioned. It used to drive me crazy. I guess I'm over it now.

I feel naked without mine on. And HF doesn't ever put it on after duty either. Oh yeah. Another reason is because he is left handed and it interferes with handling his gun.

CAcopwife said...

CA Cop does not wear his ring, but I do. It doesn't bother me that he chooses not to, the badge bunnies can look all they want, but I'll always do my best to give him good reasons to come home to me. I agree with Pam, the less the dirt bags know the better. We don't live in Baytown where he works, but I still think it's a good idea for him too go ringless.

The Rhoton Family said...

Your ring looks EXACTLY like mine! Great police hubbys think alike :)

The Lioness said...

My Lion wears his on duty and I wear mine at work. I also work with offenders (facilitating a batterer intervention group at a mental health facility), but I have a Mossberg Maverick 12 guage pretty handy, too ;)